Unplugged Ice

6:02PM - the academy

I'm taking a seminar on Bhakti this semester. Part of the course involves reading the Bhagavad Gita's twelfth chapter and commentaries by the four Vaisnava sampradayas. The translation we are using is by someone who hails from a branch of the Sri Sampradaya. It's much better than the standard nirvisesas and sunyavada renderings that permeate the academy, so i'm not grumbling. But, still, i always go back to Prabhupada's Gita so that i can understand what is being said. Even on the simple level of just being clear about what each verse of the Gita means, Prabhupada's translations and purports far surpass any others that i have read.

5:45PM - Now that's what I call music!

4:46PM - The Cult

Modern day academia is like an organized religion. It has its hierarchy, its dogmatic teachings, its rituals, its rites of passage, and its cosmology. It reacts to criticism from outside in the same way religious fanatics defend their faith -- with no consideration of logic or objectivity. It upholds its own values and, even though it abhors cultural relativity, it considers itself the sole guardian of truth. Actually, "truth" is not allowed. It has been banned. And so has "potential truth." Nothing has value. The greatest achievement that humanity can claim is a "valuableness" unto it's own particular culture or tradition. Thus nothing is of absolute value and, for the sake of "scholarship," everything is open to interpretation (speculation). What is left? A monistic, atheistic, undefinable mixed-up pile of human excreta that allows individuals the right to become mini-gods on the basis of how much well-articulated nonsense they can regurgitate in one sitting. This, my friends, is academia. This is the elite. This is what society looks up to as its teachers, mentors, and advisers. This is how the innocent are fooled. This is the battle.

All is not lost for as time waits for no man, and as Krsna is time,-- a change is underway.

2:02PM - Slogans

I have a dilemma. I see posts on devotee websites and bulk emails full of slogans meant to change the hearts of their audiences. Devotees are connected with Krsna so anything posted by a devotee is in some way connected with the supreme. But slogans are so close to symbols, and symbols are fine for the masses, and though there's no harm in getting the masses off of their haunches in order to do something good for themselves and others, i cannot categorize devotees as part of the masses. The masses in this day and age are...... let me put it this way - not so Krsna conscious. Any small creeper of spiritual inquiry is immediately stamped out by their desires to eat, sleep, mate and defend. That is why slogans and symbols (even mode-of-goodness ones) are good for them - they need something catchy to clear the material mist once in a while. But it's rare souls, like devotees, who begin to inquiry further. And to throw slogans at these souls is, for want of a better word, sad. My dilemma is that i want to say something about how inquiry means so much more than symbolism and sloganism, but i can't for the slogans that devotees pass on are, in a certain capacity, correct - and they do attract attention.

I guess i did say something. By the way, did the images above inspire you to read this?

5:33PM - Incase you thought Kali Yuga was giving everyone a break this time round

Yesterday a lady came to the Honolulu temple with her three children. All four of them were very nice and cultured; however, they had been left homeless due to the present economic climate. After they left i checked my email and had to filter out several items of spam telling me how to find foreclosures in my area. Greed and lust have broken out from their hiding places and are running amok in our sand castles. Without the KC perspective, it would be easy to get very depressed about how humanity is turning out -- shallow, cruel, and ridiculously opportunistic. Only can a person who  reasons that little further, allowing the Absolute a chance to enter the equation of life, find some reason to be optimistic about human nature -- or soul nature. It's at times like this that i wish i had the intelligence and openness to be able to chant Hare Krsna incessantly. Any other future is cruel.

7:59PM - I have my moments

I have my moments. They are extremely rare but they are there, and they exist as a touch of Krsna's mercy. Reality as opposed to ignorance is divine, transported from a realm that can only be perceived if one is humble and ready to accept one's fate and wrongdoings. In my case, reality is perceived sporadically, like patches of a blue sky through a fog. And when I catch a glimpse I see an eternity of deeds opposed to self-realization – a mentality that is selfish, irrational, and hungry for name, fame, adoration. Obsequious and unashamed, I mount an eternal struggle for something that is detrimental to well-being, and, as a result, live in a fog while occasionally – out of Krsna's sheer unequivocal mercy upon me – I catch glimpses of the eternal - instead of relishing it's continual presence (something that I would not be unable to do had I the desire for it). It is like this for me.

2:39PM - Wrestling with the mind

Why is KC so simple and yet so hard? Minds are quite a handful are they not? To conquer the mind is to conquer the senses, and that would be quite an achievement. I find myself thinking back to distributing Prabhupada's books. I had the same mind, the same senses, the same three gunas, and yet somehow at that time, amidst all the same chaos and turbulence, there was an obvious trail back to Godhead and a means to traverse it. Leave the books alone for a few months and the path starts to become overgrown. Leave it too long and i'll have to wrestle with my mind to decide which way to walk is best.

5:21PM - Doctor Bird Cage

When i get nasty flus i try to avoid going to the doctor for various reasons. But this time, to save you graphic details of grossness, i got a flu that would have required a few weeks of work to get rid of naturally; so i decided it best that i kill it quickly with antibiotics since i couldn't afford the time lost. I ended up in a cheap clinic with a pleasant Thai doctor. I tried to keep quiet so that i could get the drugs and run but i slipped up and told him that i had just done prolotherapy on my back to try to fix a long running problem. I normally avoid telling these doctors of any alternative medicine i take because they tend to take it personally. This doctor was no different. His pleasant mood vanished as he began ranting on about liability, and quacks, and everything else to minimize or give a bad name to everything except his beloved allopathy. And as he was blabbering it again dawned on me that that these doctors care about everything except their patients health. Not once did he ask me if prolotherapy had helped me. His only concern was to protect all those years he had toiled in medical school so that he could become an absolute authority on something. This is the story of the material world. This is another twist in the story of the bird in the cage

5:26PM - Indian Culture: American as Apple Pie

The following is scratching the surface, but was nevertheless interesting to write. As Benjamin Franklin wrote in a letter to an acquaintance: I'm sorry, but if i had more time i would have made this shorter.

Most of us think Indian influences arrived in America during the countercultural movements of the sixties. In reality, that was only the most recent wave in the rising tide of Indiological interest stretching back centuries. I will review the history of the transference of knowledge from India to America. Each of the following cultural phenomena in America occurred in roughly the following order: cross-cultural traffic between India, Europe, and America; Transcendentalism; the Theosophical Society and Eastern gurus; Nazi Germany; the Civil Rights Movement; the Beat Generation; the widespread use of LSD; Indian influenced music; and the Hippies.

3:39PM - Mangala-arati

         Halfway up the Nuuanu Valley tucked in a huddle of bungalows, consulates and churches, is a Krishna Temple that pulsates with music from another world.
         My day begins at 4:30am as I enter the temple room. It’s a long, narrow room with a soft, warm, wooden floor underfoot. The chandeliers are dimmed, stimulating a meditative atmosphere. An angelic breeze carries a bouquet of jasmine from a nearby tree and delivers it to the temple through an open window. The rustling of leaves outside accompanies Vedic mantras chanted within by three or four monks who sit and softly rock back and forth. Eye-catching paintings grace the walls like windows into a sublime land.

2:33PM - Slaughterhouse civilization

I'm taking classes at a community college in Hawaii. This semester i am taking "World History", which is really a bad fiction read; "Philosophy (logic)", which is the proselytizing front of agnosticism; "Food Science and Human Nutrition", which must be partially funded by the meat industry; and "English", which is a business language.

Luckily i used to like reading fiction so it's bearable in that sense.

1:55PM - Here comes the rain again

It's raining as i write. Actually i would say it's bucketing down. Every day like clockwork the rains come to Taipei around 1pm and subside around 3pm. The weather has it's rituals and when it performs them there is not much we can do about it. I always found the "everything came about by chance" "philosophy" on life quite ridiculous. If something was brought into existence by chance then logically it should continue to exist within the laws of chance. Does chance pack-up and leave once it has created something? Even if chance produced an alarm clock that worked like clockwork, chance should always be there to give that clock a chance to do something else. If chance created it in such a way that during rainy season it rains every day at a certain time, then chance should still exist to change that. We learn in school that the law of averages is constant. Each time we throw a die we have the same chance of getting a six. Each time you get a six, the chance of getting another six or any other number doesn't decrease. In the same way, the chances of creation should also always be constant. But in too many cases this chance has produced something that works according to rules, and then [maybe] by chance that chance simply stops being chance any more. Whatever! It's still raining as i write, by the way.

6:05PM - Surf's up

My body is a year older. If I were ambitious I would be worried about this. After all, if I were ambitious, my precious body would be the vehicle to take me to my ambitions and, once arrived there, also carry them. If this were the case then I would most certainly squirm at my increasing number of gray hairs and receding hairline. I would be over self-conscious of the extra baggage I carry around my waist. I would be intolerant of the ever increasing wrinkles and other youth destroying phenomena. I would find it difficult to bear my decreasing endurance levels. I would find it hard to accept my limited allotted time available here. I would find it impossible to think that I am starting to get a glimpse of my inevitable twighlight years. I would have to be illusioned to continue.( Read more... )

1:11PM - Turn the tables

If i don't write on this journal it can mean one of only two things... i'm either busy or dead.

Since i'm neither of those right now...

I just got back to Taipei from a day in Hong Kong. While i was walking about Hong Kong island i was approached by two different Buddhist monks on two different occasions for donations. I declined both but checked to see their reactions to my refusals, which turned out to be more like scowls at the loss of a gullible westerner than sincerity. If they had been gracious i would have turned around and given them something. But because of the way they reacted, i didn't trust them.

This in turn led to self reflection... how do i react when someone rejects taking a book from me? I am trying to be detached and noble in defeat but sometimes i slip up and don't react in the right way. How do others perceive my reaction?

Detachment is far from being callous and uncaring towards humanity; a rocky outcrop as shelter in shark infested waters. It doesn't mean i don't see or want to see how others perceive me. It means that i am self-satisfied and offer whatever i offer without self motivation or reward. Those "others" that i may disdain or ridicule for not being on the same page as me are, in-fact, my guides. They react and i see how i should be.

If we're lucky, Krsna turns the tables on us so that we get a glimpse into who or what we are becoming.

6:26PM - Please excuse me while i preach to myself

Seek not to be respected but to be respectable. It's simple isn't it? But yet so elusive to the soul in search of some comfort in this world. Being respected is dearer to the living being than life itself. For one who has been honored, dishonor is worse than death. And yet we cannot please all the people all of the time. Someone will inevitably come into our life, for however brief a moment it may be, with the express reason of making our lives as miserable as possible by treating us like we were something nasty clinging to the inside of a toilet bowl. It's inevitable, and for some of us these moments are more frequent than not.

Being attached to some dignity and simultaneously watching someone's face turn from as bright as the sun to sour grapes, just because we walked into their line of sight, can have some adverse side effects in our resolve, especially if we have never met that person before. One reason for this unsolicited adversity could be outward appearance. It's funny how something as simple as clothing can summon up so much wrath amongst people. Generally we dress to be accepted in whatever we want to be accepted in. If we're in the high-powered business world it would be considered intelligent to own the best tailored suits in order to create a mark in others. If we're fashion conscious it would behoof us to be up with the times. If we're in a casual setting then acceptance lies with being causally adorned. But when one of these worlds, without warning, steps into another then there is undoubtedly discomfort. Borders are drawn, acceptance is sought amongst ones own kind, especially at the cost of ridiculing the other -- in other words, a natural selection takes place.

But if you are not at all affected by the results of such barriers and aggressions, then, even if you are ridiculed or abused, it will make no difference. You will have transcended the dress and gained access to a place where respect is given to everyone no matter who or what they are. As Srila Prabhupada points out, one life you may be a King, the next a dog. What is the use of identifying with our dress? It dosn't make us a better person -- a better dressed person maybe, but not one that has become unblemished like the cloth one wears.

Yet the unanswered question here is how, in the midst of so much adversity, do we become respectable rather than seek respect? In the same vein we could ask how do we become tolerant? Does tolerance get given to us or are we put into situations where we have an opportunity to practice tolerance? How can we give unless we are in a situation where we can understand the value of what we have to give? Similarly, how can we become respectable if we are never given a chance to not expect respect?

10:18AM - Dreamless

I had a dream. I was hovering above myself as I was dying, and no one noticed. Men, women and children passed by without blinking an eye at my demise on the pavement next to them. I made no noise for fear of disturbing them. I kept to myself for want of peace. And then, just as I was breathing my final breath, a small girl stopped and looked into my eyes. She said nothing but I knew her thoughts were mirroring mine as tears appeared in the corners of her eyes. I reached for her hand but she took a step back, out of reach. And then blackness.

By this time my eyes were wide open and I was in a cold sweat on my therm-a-rest®©. It was a bad dream, I told myself, and tried to fall back to sleep again but to no avail. Death in the dream was not disturbing me, nor was it the lack of interest from the masses; it was those tears, the look in that little girl's face, and her subsequent standoffishness.

I sat up and drank some water from a glass next to me. Water - the elixir of life. Life - something we take for granted. Why is it that we need something overwhelming to happen to us in order to register that simple fact? That we can so easily go through life without blinking an eye, without even acknowledging existence let alone ponder over it. And before we know it we missed the boat and wasted a golden opportunity to understand.

I had to get up now and walk over to the window. Outside it was dark and drizzling. Small raindrops patted against the windowpane, eventually forming streams of water that glided down to the window's ledge. These streams moved slowly at first, almost uncertain, but picked up speed and confidence before moving like lightening in the final third.

The transition of movement from apprehensive to certain in those small rivulets of water seemed so brief. In the beginning it was almost meditative, soothingly melancholy, to watch an element creatively exist and awkwardly function in another element. I could keep up with it. Mother Nature weeping in kindness. But then, when it built up to breakneck speed in such a short time and quickly vanished into it's own at the end of it's journey, I had to take a step back for my eye strained in trying to keep up.

Lightening struck. And then darkness. The sudden burst of light emphasizing the blackness that followed it. It was too dark to see anything outside the window for there were no streetlights nor was their moonlight for the clouds. I went back to the therm-a-rest®© and laid down on it again. My folly was to close my eyes, for off I drifted into a deep dreamless sleep wherein I forgot everything.

9:50PM - Slandering the slanderers

I think this comes from the Mahabharata, which i think gets it from one of the Puranas (refs are welcomed in a comment on this posting)? Also, i thought the original was actually Atri Muni speaking? But the lesson is poignant either way. Basically he's saying, be careful about slandering others for by doing so you gain their bad qualities as well as giving them the results of your piety. This explains why some you wouldn't think should do well are in fact doing well...

Vidura said: In this connection is cited the old story of the discourse between the son of Atri and the deities called Sadhyas is as heard by us.
In days of old, the deities known by the name of Sadhyas questioned the highly wise and great Rishi of rigid vows (the son of Atri), while the latter was wandering in the guise of one depending on eleemosynary charity for livelihood.

The Sadhyas said: We are, O great Rishi, deities known as Sadhyas. Beholding thee, we are unable to guess who thou art. It seems to us, however, that thou art possessed of intelligence and self-control in consequence of acquaintance with the scriptures. It, therefore, behoveth thee to discourse to us in magnanimous words fraught with learning.

Slanders and reproaches

The mendicant Rishi answered: Ye immortals, it has been heard by me that by untying all the knots in the heart by the aid of tranquillity, and by mastery over all the passions, and observance of true religion, one should regard both the agreeable and the disagreeable like his own self. One should not return the slanders or reproaches of others for the pain that is felt by him who bears silently, consumes the slanderer; and he that bears, succeeds also appropriating the virtues of the slanderer. Indulge not in slanders and reproaches.

Do not humiliate and insult others. Quarrel not with friends. Abstain from companionship with those that are vile and low. Be not arrogant and ignoble in conduct. Avoid words that are harsh and fraught with anger. Harsh words burn and scorch the very vitals, bones, heart, and the very sources of the life of men. Therefore, he, that is virtuous, should always abstain from harsh and angry words. That worst of men is of harsh and wrathful speech that pierces the vitals of others with wordy thorns, bears hell in his tongue, and should ever be regarded as a dispenser of misery to men. The man that is wise, pierced by another's wordy arrows, sharp pointed and smarting like fire or the sun, should, even if deeply wounded and burning with pain, bear them patiently remembering that the slanderer's merits become his.

He that waits upon one that is good or upon one that is wicked, upon one that is possessed of ascetic merit or upon one that is a thief, soon takes the colour from that companion of his, like a cloth from the dye in which it is soaked. The very gods desire his company, who, stung with reproach, returns if not himself nor causes others to return it, or who being struck does not himself return the blow nor causes others to do it, and who wishes not the slightest injury to him that injures him.

9:06PM - Causeless

What was my experiences in the Holy Dhama? My experiences are worthless, but one thing that's been re-emphasized from my visit there is that the Dhama is non different to the Supreme. That's why being in the presence of the Dhama means being in direct contact with Krsna.

Many years ago i rode a bus between Delhi and Agra as a traveler. I wasn't an aspiring devotee then, just someone who had left London in search of some meaning and adventure in his otherwise humdrum, run-of-the-mill life. Even though i didn't know it at the time, this trip to Agra took me for a brief few minutes through places where Krsna had enacted many of His pastimes; the heart of Braja. I was driven in-between Vrndavan and Govardhana and then along the outskirts of Mathura. I can honestly say that this seemingly passive incident in my a priori spiritual journey affected me in a positive way.

A different situation, but similar effect, happened about three years ago when i spent a couple of months at the asrama in Govardhana. My sadhana was shot from all my travels and crazy schedules, i had no taste for the Holy Name, and among many other problems i was a spiritual wreck. And yet, even though nothing improved from my endeavors and works during that stay, i still felt as if i reaped some unseen, causeless benefit from being in the presence of Giriraja. After my stay i felt somewhat rejuvenated from simply being there - i didn't do anything to bring this on apart from stay there.

This year was similar. For various reasons i had become run-down and weakened by staying in the West for a long time. Sense gratification becomes the norm in America and Europe as maya lures one like a seductress with many different dresses to suit different occasions and tendencies. I was worn out and tired. Again, it seemed that my time in the Dhama was unproductive, i know i could have achieved a lot more. But yet again, on reflection, i can see that by just having put myself in the care of the Dhama it has affected me in a deeper more subtle way without my reciprocation.

Why do we go to places of pilgrimage? In the Bhagavatam (1.13.10 purport) Prabhupada says "To go to some holy place of pilgrimage does not mean only to take a bath in the Ganges or Yamuna or to visit the temples situated in those places. One should also find representatives of Vidura who have no desire in life save and except to serve the Personality of Godhead." The Holy Dhama is recommended to be resided in for that reason. The Dhama itself, it's residents, and the pilgrims visiting are all sources of understanding the goal of life. What did Prabhupada say about the goal of life?... something about being addicted to Krsna. In some places this addiction is more contagious. We can only aspire for it by making some good choices.

1:59PM - Anything else dosn't cut it

I dun be as sick as a wounded dawg. Yea, I have a recurrence of bronchitis which is causing a cough from hell, plus, as if that wasn't enough, my right ear is blocked because of an infection. This is probably part of the deal of having been in India for the last 4 weeks (call it purification or karma). And so henceforth, my friends, here's another practical lesson in how the material body is not for us... Gone is skipping dainty through daffodil carpeted fields of blissful existence and joy. Imploded have the promising dreams of a healthy life in serenity and sugar candied familial love. Regurgitated are the ambrosial delicacies that were brought forth for the finer pleasures of the palate. Creamed are the memories of happiness... all that is left in their place is a deaf stupor.

In the holy words of the monty python team sometime in the 1970s; “That's nothing!” My so called cajoling with the stark inevitability of material agony is simply a stroll in the park in comparison with others' who have it much worse. One devotee here in Taipei suffered polio in early life and because of it still sustains a dysfunctional leg to this day. He learned to overcome the regret and pain associated with it, even though it also cost him the chance to pursue his dream of an occupation as a doctor, for according to Taiwanese law you can't be a doctor with such a disability. He now makes a living on the street making those little rubber stamps that Chinese people officially sign their names with. There really is no solace in material life; it leads simply to madness. But, for the majority of us, we still pray with folded hands and all sincerity that we can find some happiness in it.

Forget yoga, jnana and fruitive research. Simply meditate on the divine feet of Nanda Nandana with as much love as you can muster and beg the sublimely pure Sri for Her help. Anything else just won't do.

6:30PM - When you run out of ideas post a photo or two

Group shot of some of the Taipei devotees in the Taipei center/temple( Read more... )